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There are very few organisations or teams I have been in that have not expressed failures in communication: ‘We just need to communicate better’, ‘there is no good communication here’, ‘communication is not very important…’.
The point is that ‘assertive communication’ is approached as if it were one and the same thing. However, the ability to communicate assertively is not a black box: this power skill involves a set of skills, decisions, habits and omissions. It has different dimensions and knowing how to identify which one of them is failing is what makes the difference when it comes to improving.
Below, I share six key dimensions of this power skill. They complement each other, train each other and are quite independent of each other: you can be super clear but not empathetic. You can use exquisite words and not connect with anyone. You can tell everything… through the wrong channel.
Talking is not enough. You have to check if the other person understood what you meant. It is not enough to ‘be attentive’ to what the other person says: you have to listen and for that you have to ask the necessary questions, paraphrases, observations and read between the lines.
How is this developed? Through active listening exercises (to others and to ourselves), techniques such as learning to ask questions, mindfulness practices…
Knowing what to say, how to say it and when to say it. Assertiveness is no longer a matter of ‘saying what I think, without filter’. Aspects such as tone and volume of voice, choice of words, intention, are key. This is where passive-aggressive communication and all its variants have to improve.
How is it developed? Through techniques such as non-violent communication, exercises with tone and rhythm of voice, etc.
You have to connect with a purpose. It is not enough for a message to be well structured and have the right tone: it has to connect with people. Narrative involves making sense, connecting to a purpose, conveying vision… mobilising, influencing, inspiring. It is also about communicating complex ideas in a simple way. When this dimension fails, the message is understood but not felt.
How is it developed? With techniques such as storytelling, public speaking and persuasive language.
Addresses knowing how to read the cultural context and adapt messages accordingly. What is ‘clear’ in one place is perceived as ‘obscure’ in another.
What is considered direct in some places is seen as aggressive in others.
How is it developed? by becoming aware of the dimensions of language to be able to observe its nuances, observation, getting to know different national cultures, etc.
It involves making information accessible and sharing what is necessary for people to act, trust and decide. It implies knowing how to select information (without over-informing) and knowing how to sustain it (without misleading). When this dimension fails, gossip, noise and mistrust are common.
How does it develop? Unlike the previous dimensions, it is not developed with concrete techniques: this skill requires reflection of previous experiences, observation, listening to different points of view, making decisions (shall I say it already?) as well as working hand in hand with the organisational culture.
Not everything is said by email and not everything is talked about in a corridor. Knowing how to choose where and through which medium to transmit a message is part of communicating well. It is the same as with transparency: it is a dimension that is partly linked to the organisational culture and is trained through experience, observation and decision-making. It helps a lot to establish working agreements on which channels work best for certain messages.
Now, when someone tells you that ‘communication fails’, you know what to ask and what dimensions to focus on!
In which dimension does communication fail in your project? In which dimension does it shine?
To develop your project communication skills, we look forward to seeing you at our Power Skills training!
– Claudia Salas-
