The Art of Receiving Feedback: as important as knowing how to give it.

There’s a lot of talk about giving #feedback, but very little about #receiving feedback. A culture of giving feedback isn’t enough if we don’t have a culture of #receiving feedback! Receive from a place of real and genuine listening, not from ego. Receive from a mindset of learning and improvement, being kind to ourselves and not feeling uncomfortable. Receive from a place of gratitude. Giving feedback is just as important as knowing how to receive it.

How can we improve our ability to receive #feedback?

Prior to feedback:

✅Personal work: If receiving feedback bothers you, ask yourself, “Why?” What is it that makes me uncomfortable? Try to dig deeper. Is it because I’m afraid of damaging the relationship? Is it because I don’t feel good enough? What’s behind my discomfort?

✅Anticipate: Express how you like to receive messages in advance. This way, your sender will get to know you better when giving feedback.

During the conversation:

✅Breathe: When listening to feedback, it’s important to do abdominal breathing and maintain relaxed body language. Our physicality has a significant effect and can make us more (or less) receptive.

✅Listen with empathy: Put aside your own mental discourse and put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Try to listen from their perspective.

✅Ask your speaker for objective facts: It’s not easy to give feedback (especially about areas for improvement), so if your speaker isn’t clear enough with the facts, politely ask about the tangible events that occurred, leaving judgments aside.

✅Be kind to yourself: This feedback speaks to past situations; it doesn’t define you as a person! Mind your language.

✅Don’t get caught up in “defending yourself”: It’s okay to express your views and emotions, but avoid falling into “defend and attack” attitudes.

✅Ask about the future: Feedback is a time for growth. Invite your speaker to brainstorm alternatives for the future together. What can we do if this happens again? How can we prepare?

✅Focus on what you’re learning and express it: Instead of focusing on your weaknesses or defending yourself, focus on “what did I learn from this situation?” You’ll find that you’ll feel better. Verbalize what you’ve learned.

✅Be grateful for feedback: Even if it’s uncomfortable, you’ll see that saying “thank you” can have an impact on your emotions.

By the way, feedback doesn’t have to be about improvement: there is also recognition and very #positive feedback! And in these cases, yes: the same advice also applies… because otherwise, the feedback would inflate our ego and not lead to internal transformation.

And you, are you in an organization that makes an effort to receive feedback? What advice would you add?