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You wake up at the weekend with a clear plan in mind: “I’m going to change winter for summer clothes in the wardrobe.”
Something fast.
Organized.
Controlled.
A couple of boxes, take out the coats, put in the T-shirts… and that’s it. One hour. Two tops.
HA.
And that’s when you open the top drawer and there’s that T-shirt you haven’t worn since 2017. So you think to yourself: “I need to have a proper clear-out, Marie Kondo-style, before she had children.” But life is never that simple, because five minutes have gone by and you’re no longer just sorting through your wardrobe; you’re rethinking your relationship with clothes – and with the world in general.
So, your innocent brain makes a decision thinking it is a good one: “I’ll make the most of this and have a clear-out.”
And of course, if you’re having a clear-out… you might need some more hangers.
And if you need more hangers… maybe that drawer isn’t organised properly.
And if that drawer isn’t in order… Well, while we’re at it, let’s re-organise everything.
Two hours later, the bedroom looks like a war zone. (And you’re lucky if it’s just the bedroom)
Clothes all over the bed.
Open boxes.
Three piles: keep it, give it away, I don’t know what to do with this but I’m not going to decide today (does it bring me joy?).
The original project – to sort out my wardrobe – is still lying around somewhere in that room, buried under a pile of sweatshirts.
And at that moment (or rather later than you should have) you realise something: it’s not that it’s taking you longer, it’s that you’re no longer doing the same thing you started out doing.
The scope has increased. There hasn’t been a meeting, it hasn’t been a conscious decision, and this agreement hasn’t been reached for the sake of something (your mental stability, for example)… No one, not even you, has said, “Hey, this is a whole new project now.”
The funny thing is that, whilst it’s happening, it all makes sense: those famous ‘sinces’—until the ‘since I’m here’ turns into a fully-fledged side project.
And this isn’t just the case with wardrobes. It happens all the time in projects.
You start with something quite specific and, little by little, without even realising it, improvements, tweaks and ‘quick’ ideas start to creep in… Individually, they seem minor, but taken together… they completely transform the whole endeavour.
And the dangerous thing isn’t that it happens – that’s to be expected – but that these ‘sinces’ have a subtle way of creeping into your life (and your project) without ever having been formally invited. The real problem is that nobody is treating it as such.
Because that’s when the awkward questions start:
“Why is it taking longer?”
“Why has it become so complicated?”
“Wasn’t this simple?”
And, with that sari in your hand that you bought 10 years ago on your trip to India, and you’re not sure whether to throw it away or not – you understand exactly what is going on.
So, next time you start a “simple wardrobe clear-out” (or a project that seems straightforward), it might be worth pausing for a moment when the first “since” pops up. Not necessarily to avoid it, but to decide whether you really want to get involved.
It’s one thing to change your wardrobe, but it’s quite another to change your life and move house.
Does this ring a bell? What has been your most dangerous ‘since’?
